If I were experiencing any more emotional turmoil that I currently am, I really don’t know what I would do.
My life is about to change drastically in the next couple of months. I made a rash decision to move to Richmond and go to college there in January for several reasons. 1.) I’m constantly being kicked out of my moms house for purely nonsense reasons, and living on campus would eliminate the issue of bills and rent. 2.) This small ass town is driving me purely nuts. 3.)Because I was assuming I would be surrounded by friends that already live up there. One of which I’ve been mildly “talking” to.
However, as it gets closer and closer I keep analyzing my current situation. For instance, I have friends that are looking for a third room mate and I would LOVE to be that for them. I could keep working full time at my job and fix things without having to leave. But I’m not complying to their requests because I already have prior obligations to my friend to be her room mate when we go to Richmond. Also: The guy up there that I’ve been talking to is seemingly becoming less interested in me. That makes me afraid that I may not have the off campus support I was looking forward to.
Before him, I was living with an amazing guy here, who I never officially dated, but quite literally gave me the shirt off of his back when I needed it. I still have lingering thoughts and feelings about what would happen with him if I stayed. ESPECIALLY if this dude that I’m so interested in is going to drop me any way. (Keep in mind, I over analyze EVERYTHING. He may still be just as interested and I’m being paranoid. Who knows?)
I guess all in all,I feel like I have unfinished business where I am currently. Or maybe I’m just terrified. I’ve never been a fan of change. Either way, I’m not ditching out on my obligations. I can’t. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be a crabby skank for the next couple of months.